was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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