I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
