I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm bleeding and have questions
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