and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
