No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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