I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
