she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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