we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
