YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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