forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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