miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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