party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
