PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
