your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just had sex bonerless
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
