How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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