sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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