We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
