Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
