I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize