You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize