Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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