If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this will be a night to untag.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize