I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
