Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
