Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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