whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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