This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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