i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
