Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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