He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
