yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
