yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
