so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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