do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
