come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
