what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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