The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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