Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
