Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
