i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
