fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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