I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize