What a fucking waste of an outfit
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
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