i would punch a child for taco bell
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
