i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
