ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
