it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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