Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
