Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's shark week go big or go home
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize