i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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