He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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