..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
