How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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