remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
