yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
