Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
