ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
