I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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