Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why do cheetos always look like penises
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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