dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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