capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
