SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
