I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
